whiteout

I feel like half the posts I make these days are about allergies.  But when I'm going through a box of tissues a day and even an emergency mission to the grocery store leaves me crippled for hours, it's the topic on the forefront of my mind. 

I woke up this morning with both eyes swollen nearly shut.  More troublingly, the epicanthic fold on my right eye has gone missing.  Normally, I have nice Asian almond-eyed monolids -- the epicanthic fold is “a vertical fold of skin from the upper eyelid that covers the inner corner of the eye” that causes the single, versus double eyelid.  My right eye now has a double lid!

I find it bizarre to look in the mirror and see one normal eye and one white-chick eye staring back at me.  I suffer from white-chick eye every once in a very rare while.  I call her Kelsie.  Kelsie likes to come out to play either when I'm extremely tired, or extremely hungover, or have sustained a blow to the general eye region.

Kelsie currently has me in a very bad mood.  I'm big on the monolid.  It's the monolid that allows me to call out non-Asians when they confuse me with Margaret Cho or Sandra Oh.  They like to backtrack, often with hilarious results ("oh, it's not so much you look like her, just that she plays a bitch, just like you"). 

So I really don't like that one side of my face doesn't fit the other any longer.  I feel as though I've had an ethnic stroke.  I'm worried the right side of my face is suddenly going to start paying full price for clothes and consumer goods.  What if it rains today and the right side of my hair starts smelling like golden retriever?  Suck it, Kelsie.

I'm going to put some tea bags on my face.  Heh.  Oh, and get something for my eyes, too.